reflection...

This is the last entry of this blog…it seems the semester is nearly over and it went on so fast. This blogging thing has been my second experience since the last time I did it for the study of drama course. And it is still interesting as the first time I did it…however this time it seems quite tricky for me to manage up to 16 posts. Thank god Dr Edwin was lenient enough in asking us to post around 15-20 posts.
To me, the tricky part for this semester’s blogging is because I don’t have many ideas on what to write about. If compared to the drama blog, we were assigned topic to post in our blogs. This time we were asked to write about anything and it became hard, ironic right? Maybe personally, I preferred being given orders than to think on my own. So, when Dr Edwin asked us to reflect just about anything in the class, I became clueless. Even worst I kept mixing up the topics I’ve learned in EDU 3067 with this subject, EDU3234. So, that explains some of my posts are reflections of poems I did during EDU3067.
Overall, this course had thought me a lot in preparing myself when I’ll continue doing my masters later. It thought me on how to write proper academic papers which needs a lot of time looking through it. Besides that, I was introduce to several types of text which I think can be applied doing my teaching later. Instead of just reading novels and short stories, probably I can introduce diaries or letters as a part of my teaching aid. I really enjoyed this course as a whole and definitely after this I will still continue blogging but for non academic purposes though hehe..

freedom writers....losing and gaining

at last i got the chance to watch it....i was waiting since last year when i first saw its trailer in the cinema....but it seems it was never aired in Malaysia and i wander why???hmm....anyway i only have one word for it...superb!!!!i don't know, i always love watching true story-movies...at least i know i for real and nothing in it is fiction. fiction always lies...full of lies.
Ms Gruwell was a great teacher..she had a bumpy start at first but she manage to tackle her students well and to me its impressive. she didn't start with pouring in everything out of the syllabus to the students and to me that was a good move. maybe to the other teachers she was doing nothing but actually, she had done a lot. it needs a lot of effort for a teacher to gain respect from students especially the 'special' ones like hers. to me, the students are special because they never wanted to have the life they lead, they were forced to and that results in their bad behaviors....
however, it come to me that do we have to let something go in order to gain something else???look at Gruwell herself. she lost her husband when she was trying to gain her students' attention. she never did got both...does it mean if we want to have both, we can't be so dedicated in either one???because if we are dedicated in one thing, we might just loose the another area in life and thats not fair...maybe humans are greedy..we always wanted more than we can have...but is it greed in wanting to be a great teacher and at the same time,at home, being a good spouse or mother?i don't thinks so...i want to be greedy...i want to be good in both areas of life - career and personal life.

the golden compass

When doing Mandela’s autobiography, it made me reflect the behaviour and self ego of the whites have over the other species in the world. (I’m not being judgemental here but it is a fact). They are careless (care less) in acknowledging other and seeing only themselves as the superior. That is why they are not ashamed of overruling other countries. The best part? They always have something to rationalize their actions.

This “rationalizing each action they take” behaviour was also found in the movie The Golden Compass that I watched not very long ago. It’s a beauty that the Americans can be very open about their thought even though they might be condemning their own government. (I do feel this writer is condemning his government.) In this movie, this ignorant force takes name of The Majestarian. They control the world at that point and pointing fingers to certain groups of beings as these creatures (to them) will bring harm. They ruled that world with iron fist and making sure everyone listens to them. They take all the children that belong to the servants’ level and separate them from their dæmons (an animal figure that will accompany them through life) which according to the story makes the person weak and lifeless. They are then brain washed. Similar to reality, some people were driven back from their rights to live like Mandela when he got shorts instead of long pants. And if he did get those pants, he is in a way brain washed to accept the whites’ propaganda and needs. We all know that nothing comes for free in this world.

The Majestarian too rationalized their actions of kidnapping all the children as it is for safety purposes. They never see their actions wrong. They feel that everything they do was for the benefits of all which I feel its just completely a lie. It’s not for everyone but for the benefits of themselves, to make sure they are in safety. Just like the leaders nowadays, some countries objects the making of atomic weaponry in Pakistan saying that it’s a harm to the world but at the same time, they themselves are creating even massive machinery that cause the earths ruin even double. Where is the rationale in that?

The world is getting unfair but we can’t do anything…just watch and learn and criticize…

Factory Girl – the life of Andy Warhol and Edie Sedgwick

I’ve read his diary and I’ve watched a movie about him and yes, Andy Warhol is a weird guy. But he is a nice guy too…I think.

After that day we studied Warhol’s diary, a friend of mine got hold of a movie called “Factory Girl” which basically is about Edie Sedgwick who is closely related to Andy Warhol. They were attached but not clearly…only an unspoken bond..I never thought Warhol ever like a women before as Dr Edwin told us he was gay. So it seems he wasn’t gay before the death of Edie in 1971 I assume. But he is still weird though.

I like the movie very much. The movie staring Sienna Miller as Edie and Guy Pearce as Andy Warhol tells about the typical scene of the high life of superstars then and even applicable nowadays too! Edie was born rich and she basically never knew what planning money was. She was an artist but troubed..a symbol of tragic women before her time…she died in 1971.Being a son of a coal miner, probably that is why Andy knows his way in life. He was generous that he let his staffs of the ‘factory’ stayed there for free and that was when the conflict of the movie occurred. The mean folk singer (I really hate that character) criticize his generosity and artist who never much cared of being famous, Andy never expected payment for his work and as for the mean singer, he was expecting high payment for everything he does.

There were scenes in the movie when it shows the different lifestyle of Edie and Andy. She would go to a restaurant and order salmon and other expensive stuff on the menu but Andy only ordered a peanut butter sandwich…The life of Edie and Andy were very different but they manage to be together for a long time, Edie herself admit that Andy was her first love and Andy too mention that Edie was a special figure in his life.

Really, by the end of the movie, I learned that money can really ruin us. Having lots of money basically made Edie took life for granted. She never did appreciate it as much as others. And when she loses it, her life became miserable. Money can really rule us, it really can…like the lines from the poem “Heir Conditioning”, money is your new God.

bride price...

Similar to the poem “This is Just to Say” by William Carlos Williams, this poem by Mabel Segun too uses symbolism in achieving a certain effect.

In this poem, a business transaction was the tone which also symbolises the arrangement between a guy with his prospective in-laws. The poem is very interesting for the way its tone and use of words in it. it is normal nowadays that some parents tend to sell their daughters in order to lessen their own burden. By marrying their daughter’s off, they can gain the benefits of dowry and they also don’t have to worry about feeding another mouth.

However, this situation is not fair. Just like the poem itself, the bride doesn’t have a voice. They are just like objects to be auction and both the poet parents never ask the bride whether she wanted to get married to the man.

I like to relate this poem with Charlene Rajendran’s “A Question of Rights” which I did with Encik Abu Bakar. However, this particular poem did allow the bride to-be a voice in giving opinion. And so think this poem speaks freely of a woman and in which I definitely agree.

The issue of women’s right has never stop since my grandmother’s time. Why do also been surpressed by men? Yes, in religion itself has been said that men plays a higher role in life but it doesn’t mean women have to be the ‘silent’ one in all issue. We are humans as well.

van gogh

This is one of Van Gogh's greatest paintings, The Starry Night which personally I do think it's great. even though I can't see in detail the brush strokes still, the work is beautiful...however, I kept wondering to myself the fact that most artistes whether they write, paint or sing, most of them are mentally retarded in a way. Van Gogh himself was a loner and not forgetting he did became psycho in the end. Maybe their minds are a total contrast with us, that's why they can see things different from us. They understand the word abstract more than other humans in the world. These weirdoes might be rejected from the 'normal' society however; it is them that see the world wider than any of us. They are critics but silently; through their writings and paintings. I once saw a painting that is touching to me. It just a simple abstract drawing but the focus of the painting was an eye with tears and this is what touched me...emotionally. The haywire strokes behind the eye shows the painters’ haywire mind and the tears show her sadness due to the haywire situation. But that was me...art is subjective. That is why I wonder how Van Gogh is so famous but there is only one painting which I feel good. Others are just merely painting of fruits and vegetables (even I can do such thing!!)Hehe...so, how can we grade a painter to be good or not? Famous or common? Expensive or worthless? Do we need 'connections' with the right people to hook us up to the industry???If so, it is unfair but this is the world though. Money can buy titles. This is sad as they might be good artist out there but they don’t have sufficient funds to help them rise...To me, art is not to be sold or bargain just because the artist is famous but to be valued for its message.

why i chose The Chrysanthemums

For the position paper assignment, I chose to use John Steinbeck’s The Chrysanthemums as the text to be examined. I actually have this passion of doing Pygmalion and Educating Rita. I had been comparing these two plays since I was in first year at MPTI. It seems I have a thing for identity issues. However, when Dr Edwin told us that we can’t use the same text we did in position paper for our research paper, I had to think twice. Because I don’t want to loose the chance of commenting about both the plays again together, I opt for a different story which was The Chrysanthemums by John Steinbeck. At first, I’ve forgotten the existence of this story (terrible me)…so, I went on flipping through the pages of Kennedy and Gioia’s Literature An Introduction to Fiction, Poetry and Drama. That is when I come across this story and at that moment I remembered on how I really enjoyed this story. I like this particular Steinbeck’s story because of the feminism issue in it. I think I really like story with the feminist zest in it. It’s interesting and also made me aware of the women’s position in the world since the time I’m not even born yet. The symbolism of the chrysanthemums itself is also unique as I never heard a man comparing women to this type of flowers as often they do with roses. Nevertheless, the chrysanthemum is a perfect symbol of Elisa Allen. She is yet a strong woman at will but how strong she is, there is still that soft part in her. Just like the chrysanthemums, it has the biggest and hardest stalks of all flowers but it is just a flower…not a log or a pine…just a delicate little flower. Personally, even though this story took place in the early 1930’s but the issue rose is still relevant today. Not many women in the world can achieve the same position as man in any aspect. And if they do manage, women will always be paid lesser than their male counterparts. Maybe men had forgotten the reason of women’s existence that they tend to suppressed the women. Yes, women are the daughters and mothers to men but still they deserve to be treated with equal amount of respect too…being mothers doesn’t mean staying at home and do the chores only. Yes, there are things which are better left to the men but that doesn’t mean women have no rights to leave the pots and pans and start working with pen and papers…

malaysian celebration!!

Dr. Edwin had assigned us with this task of describing about the celebrations held in Malaysia. And when its celebration, it means public holidays and all celebrated things based on he religion practises and culture too.

At first, Dr. Edwin asked us to list down all the celebration that crossed our mind. Well, at that point, my pocket calendar helped me a lot. Later, we all had it written on the board. The, it struck my mind there were tonnes of other celebrations celebrated in Malaysia which I never known before. We were all assigned different celebrations and we had to do a bit of research and a complete write up of it. I did on Isra’ Mikraj together with Aida and Suhaizie. Dr. Edwin said that this information will be compiled into a book for student references at school. Imagine my name at the back of a book…cool!!

Emm…to me, I think Dr. Edwin’s effort of compiling this is a good idea especially when there are students like me who hardly know other people’s culture (not that I didn’t try though). Malaysia is known for its multicultural society thus it would be a shame if foreigners know more about our culture than us. Thus, introducing such text for students especially during primary level is a good way to teach students to respect one another and create “Muhibbah”. When we manage to create the respect in our students, we can hope that there wouldn’t be any of our students getting involved or starting racial conflicts like what happened on May 13.

when reading Nelson Mandela's autobiography

Dr Edwin assigned us to read the autobiograhy of Nelson Mandela's and i feel the tense he’s going through at that time. To me, besides his personal problems, this leader is dedicated in freeing his people. I believe what he said in his autobiography because he didn’t use phrase such as “I think…” or “I believe…” as these phrases might cause readers to feel some biasness in the statement he provides.
Looking at this man’s effort makes me think; are there still leaders like this? Who are not corrupted? I mean Mandela is not a saint either but he was good enough not to accept the offer of long pants the jail officer gave him. If he did, he will be a hypocrite which to me a lot of leaders in the world know are…most leaders nowadays always say things that don’t meant…as example, Bush’s government are saying to the world they are trying to gain peace in the world but at the same time they are the ones starting wars, where’s the peace in that I wonder.
Writing an autobiography whether its written by ourselves or someone else is always an interesting way to share our experience and if it is not altered in any way, readers will have a glimpse of what really happens to us. Especially when it comes to celebrities, everyone wants to know about their lives but usually what we get in the news or tabloid are usually exaggerated from the real thing. Thus, autobiographies are a good way to be honest (in a way). As for autobiography like Mandela’s, there are a lot that we can learn from it. Besides understanding what his life as a person, we can also learn what he went through and learn form it so it won’t happen again in the future.

pygmalion vs educating rita

Both the character of Eliza Doolittle in Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion and Willy Russell’s Educating Rita, are women who comes from different eras but have the same aim; to change their social status and they choose to do it through education. They felt by having education, they are able to rise one step ahead of their present strata in life however, their dreams of being educated at the end results in their lost of identity. Both these women also faced the difficulties as other women all over the world when they want to have education. As we know fiction is a reflection of reality and in reality, the earliest push for Victorian women to become educated was because they were mothers of men and eventually teachers of men (Solomon xviii). It was not until the twentieth century that women began to desire knowledge for themselves as individuals. That is why both these plays were written later in the 1900’s. If we compare these plays with Jane Austin’s novels, we can see what education meant during that time; for the sake of finding a good husband from a wealthy family and hardly for themselves. This is why I’m fond of writing about these plays for my research paper. I wanted to elaborate further on the idea of education and women because as a woman, I do feel that we should have the equal rights in gaining education too!!! Education is not just about getting a good job, if I was a housewife; I want to be an educated one also; not just know the latest gossip in the neighbourhood but also the current issues that happens around me. Another interesting issue about these plays is the irrelevant reasons both the main characters wanted education…Rita only wanted to be educated so she knows what are the right books to read, right plays to watch and right clothes to wear and Eliza only want to speak more ‘genteel’ so she can work in a florist shop. So shallow there needs for education. That is why I want to show students through these plays that they should have significant reason in gaining education or else they are just wasting their parents’ money.

presenting my position paper

its has been 2 weeks since i presented my position paper but i can still remember how scary it was to present it in front of Dr Edwin since there's already many who's work being rejected...so i did it..and thank god my work wasn't rejected. but there were some points that needs to be connected to the thesis statement. it's ironic really...i told some of my friends to refer to their thesis statement each time they finish a point but i myself didn't do it...the first thing Dr Edwin commented on my slide was NEVER to use the comic as font..i probably forgotten that this is a formal presentation thus i used comics...i would definitely remember this next time i'm doing such presentation...this presentation really taught me how to prepare myself for continuing my masters later. i've also learned that i should always differentiate which work is formal and which is not..

process of writting the position paper

Ok...approving my thesis statement stage is over and now its the writing part...for this, i definitely really a lot on the internet as this the place to find a lot of related articles...(pss..i never plagiaries ok.. just using for references) and so I found a lot of articles which some are on the same stand as me, others are against it…so doing the frustration of Elisa Allen in Steinbeck’s The Chrysanthemums requires me to analyze a lot on her behavior and way of presenting herself…I hadn’t have much problems in handling the text as I’ve studied it before thus there were tones of notes scribbled on my Kennedy and Goia book I’d used to read the story. as this assignment requires me to be critical with my stand and supporting arguments, I had to read the text several times. At a certain point, I think I’d already mastered the story hehe…it seems to me creating a good statement was already hard, supporting the statement requires me to triple the effort. It was even harder. It might be easy to just talk about it but when it’s written, I have to make my arguments as strong as possible to make sure the people reading my paper will also agree with what I’m saying...i wonder how hard it will be doing my research paper then??

thesis statement is hard!!huhu

basically in my understanding, position paper is a paper worth debating a topic on...thus, to make it debatable, a good topic is essential. that day, Dr Edwin asked us to prepare our topic a.k.a the thesis statement to be approved by him...yes...finding a thesis statement wasn't that hard at first until Dr. Edwin did his magic trick of dissapearing all the thesis statement we had written on the board.(it wasn't magic actually, he just erased it off) and i think on the first day we showed Dr edwin the thesis statement, i think only 2-3 people got through. the rest???have to try again...repeating the process (think-> write thesis on paper->write on board->got erased)..thank God, after the second try, mine was approved even though i had to debate on by my thesis statement should be accepted..to me, it was a hard and tiring process..the thinking part was the hardest of all...but its worth it..at least i'll know waht to expect when i continue my masters later..

plums anyone??

An interesting poem I would say this poem by William Carlos Williams “This is Just to Say”. In Now Read On, the poem was written in a paragraph and Dr Edwin had us reorganizing it according to our liking and we need to justify why we chose to have it that way. I think this is an interesting way in teaching poem and I will definitely use it in my future teaching. It lets the students be creative and not just wait for answers.

As for the poem itself, it can be literally and metaphorically connotated. I did get the other meaning behind this poem since the first time I read it. However, when Dr Edwin reveals the ‘other’ meaning, there were many ohhs and ahhs which signals the shock many of my classmates had as most were still stuck at the literal meaning of the poem- a plum thief…plum as a plum…not more not less. Maybe because the poem was put into a paragraph thus we didn’t thought of interpreting it as we automatically do when we see a poem. As a paragraph, the lines were just merely words probably found on the fridge door.

I like the way Williams describe virginity as plums. Why plums? Is it because of the squishy texture or the ripeness of the fruit that made him create such comparison? Hehe…the issue of taking away one’s possession as written in this poem is so witty… It’s like a petty crime if you want to compare it with the real issue of running away with one’s boyfriend or even daughter without permission.

It seems by using different kind of imagery, it will create different kind of mood and interpretation of the poem. If we replace the word plum or refrigerator with something else, it might have a different impact all together. In this case, even a serious issue of eloping or even rape (if you want to assume it’s written from a rapist point of view) can look so plain and funny with the image of stealing plums.

fall of icarus - the significant of the unsignificant

We know that Icarus’ fall was insignificant to anyone on that land except for his father, Daedalus…this issue of insignificantness not only evolves around the drawing but also these two poems by William Carlos Williams “Landscape with the Fall of Icarus” and W.H Auden “Musee des Beaux Arts” which used the drawing as an inspiration. If in the drawing, Icarus’ fall was only located on a small fraction of the canvas, in these poems they also mentioned about him in the last few lines only…

The realisation of this made me think, why is Icarus being neglected by everyone becomes so significant. Is he the symbol of the insignificants? To me, I’ve learned from this poem that there more in this world for us to be worried about instead of fiddling with unimportant item. Just like Auden said in his poem, “Have heard the splash, the forsaken cry, But for him it was not an important failure; the sun shone” . Besides that, we still need to go on with life as usual even though we might have lost something in the past. Maybe there are more expected for us in the mere future, who knows? At the same time, this poem made me reflect our society nowadays. We NEVER care about others…and that is not very nice too…sometimes, people tend to ignore the problems happening in front of them because they think it has nothing to do with them…I experienced once when a very very old aunty was standing in the Monorail and nobody care about giving her a seat…how cruel!!it reminded me of the advertisement on TV about budi bahasa…and another case when my father helped a motorcyclist and his wife who was involved in a minor accident (the guy did break his legs though) in the middle of the rain. My father offered them a ride to the hospital and my father asked the couple how long have they been there and they said they were there, in the rain, full of pain for nearly half an hour WITHOUT anyone offering them help. I was surprised, is our society that cruel? Is it when there is blood pools all over then there will be help? Sometimes the idea of ignoring others’ business is not a very good idea in certain issue…

The Fall of Icarus - when painting & writing meets

Last week all of us were assign to find the painting called "The Fall of Icarus" and so we did. But the problem was there were too many versions of the drawing which leads to everyone saying their's are the correct one.
Since I'm one of the people who went looking for the drawing first without reading the text first, i had in mind that the drawing should focus on Icarus and his father, Daedalus as the main subject of the drawing. Eventually, i found a drawing by Peter Paul Ruben which suited my description. And yes, keeping in mind that the fall was the major part of the story, made me feel that i had found the drawing..and saying to others who chose Bruegel's painting was wrong because the only part of Icarus in the painting was his legs.
However, after reading the story and also discussing the painting in class (in which my judgment is wrong..it was Bruegel's), my understanding about the whole painting and the fall became different. It then occurs to me, the fall wasn't that important than i thought it was. It made sense that only a tiny portion of the canvas shows Icarus (his legs to be exact) and more of the shepard, farmer and fishermen even though the painting was named after Icarus.
The fall of Icarus wasn't important to anyone..it was just another death and the only person who suffered from the incident was Daedalus for he will never be a father no more. But to the shepard, farmer and fishermen, they didn't even bother to take notice of the fall. That's why in Bruegel's painting, only the legs were shown in a very small portion indeed. It's to show insignificant.
Personally, after doing this activity, i feel it can be applied in the classroom especially with students who are more artistic at mind. They might be slow in understanding the story by reading it but by looking at the painting and reading the text, they will get a larger understanding of the whole event by understanding the painting. So, when painting and writing meets, they will be companion to help in the process of understanding when we have a class with different sides of intelligence.